Relationships & happiness
Nobody is Responsible For Your Happiness
I recently wrote an article, and I talked about how negatively a lack of love and unhappiness in a relationship affects children. I wrote, “If a daughter sees her mommy unhappy all the time in a relationship, she grows up thinking that's okay and if a son sees his father unhappy and failing to make the mother happy, she grows up thinking happiness isn't a requirement in a relationship.” Many people seemed to have a problem with the statement.
Nobody is responsible for your happiness and I agree with that, but just because I have to make myself happy doesn’t mean people are allowed to keep doing things that make me unhappy.
Happiness is a personal thing and it’s very difficult to remain in that state day in and day out. We are humans, we are triggered easily and our emotions change very quickly. According to this article, many people wish they were happier than they currently were. If happiness was easy to tap in, the world would be a happy place, but it’s not.
If you truly love your partner, you make their happiness your priority and if you think their happiness isn’t your job, at least don’t take away from it.
Here’s what I mean: A mother stays home all day doing things that make her feel good and being responsible for her own happiness. She cleans her house, which makes her feel great and she nurtures her body, mind, and soul. Her alcoholic husband comes home late and drunk, again! She is responsible for her own happiness, and she was happy. But seeing her man that way immediately takes away from her happiness. Is her unhappiness her own doing or was it caused by something outside of herself?
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Another girl is having a great day. She’s doing the laundry feeling nothing but happiness. She’s singing, humming, whistling, and dancing to the music playing in the background. She looks into her boyfriend’s pockets to make sure there’s nothing there and finds condoms. They don't use condoms. She no longer feels happiness, instead, she's infuriated because it means her boyfriend cheated on her, again!
Yes, both of these women are responsible for their own happiness, but something outside of themselves took away from their happiness.
If it isn’t your job to make your partner happy, then why are you in a relationship with them? If you think their happiness isn’t your job, you can’t expect them to do the things that make you happy like clean the house, cook for you, do your laundry or even have sex with you!
Nobody is responsible for my happiness. I am. I’m not responsible for my boyfriend’s happiness, he is. But that doesn’t mean we are allowed to keep stressing each other out and doing things to each other that take away from our happiness.
If you really love your partner, aren't you supposed to make their happiness your priority? If you love the person you are with, you want to see them happy and if they aren’t, you do everything in your power to make sure that they are.
If your relationship isn't making you happy and taking away from the happiness in your heart, don't feel guilty about leaving. You wouldn't be disappointing the children. They deserve to grow up in a happy home. They deserve to see their parents happy, whether that's together or apart.