Quit it

5 Things to Quit to Become Who You Were Created to Be

We hold on to things that hold us back

“Quitting is leading too” — Nelson Mandela. (Photo: Amos Bar-Zeev)

We all have God-given dreams in our hearts and we are all capable of achieving each and every one of them, but there are certain things we must quit to get closer to becoming who we were meant to be. Those who reach their highest potential and achieve great things aren’t better. They just do things differently.

I wasn’t where I wanted to be in life because I was holding on to things that were holding me back. I grew up hearing “don’t quit” and I took it literally. I felt guilty when I let go of things that weren’t serving me. I stayed in doomed relationships and soul-crushing jobs because I didn’t want to quit. I told myself I'm not a quitter, but quitting certain things was the best thing I did for myself.

These are things I quit to become who I was created to be:

1. Waiting

I waited so long to take my calling seriously. I thought, “Just wait for the right time.” But why wait? Why not now? If I had started writing sooner than I did, I would be ahead. I waited so long because I was afraid of starting. I had to let go of the fear that was holding me back.

The time to do it is now. We must quit waiting for perfection, inspiration, permission, reassurance, to be discovered, more confidence, or a clear set of instructions to follow. Just do it now.

11:11 — If you were waiting for a sign that it’s time to go after your dreams, this is it.

2. Second-Guessing

Second-guessing is often caused by not trusting yourself. It stems from childhood — from having critical parents, being a perfectionist, having low self-confidence, and negative thinking. When you are self-confident, you are less likely to doubt your decisions or require approval from others. I had a dream of becoming a writer for so long, but I never developed the courage to step out in faith and go for it. I thought to myself, would I really make a difference? Could I add value to other people’s lives? Was it possible to make money from my writing?

I got sassy in my response to those negative thoughts: Yes, I can make a difference and add value to people’s lives. And money? As long as I followed my calling, then the universe would make a way. I had to give myself pep talks when I second-guessed myself. I didn’t have much support or encouragement, so I had to do those things for myself. I built my own self up and made positive declarations over my life and my future.

When the world doesn’t cheer you on, become your own cheerleader!

3. Excuses

I can list tons of reasons I made excuses and didn’t go after my dreams earlier on: Too young, too old, a lack of education, never been done before, not fitting in, nobody believes in me, feeling too much, life is too hard, it’s too late, etc.

And there were many fears too — the fear of failure, fear of embarrassment, fear of success, fear of change, fear of the unknown, the fear of rejection, etc. As I grew up and started to see things clearly, I fed my dreams and starved my doubts. I stopped making excuses, kept my faith strong and my fears weak.

If you really want something you’ll find a way — if you don’t you will find an excuse.

4. Complaining

When you complain about your debt, you are voicing helplessness to ever be financially free. When you complain about your body, you are decreeing impossibilities to ever be in shape. When you complain about your job, you are expressing despair that it can ever improve. When you complain, you remain.

Complaining is a subconscious way of expressing that you are powerless to change your circumstances. Nothing delays your progress more than complaining. I observed myself and watched out for complaints and when I heard them come in; I asked myself, “Do I want to be powerless or powerful?”

The only thing complaining does is convince other people you are not in control.

5. Comparing

We are each called to do something unique in life, and I learned I can’t compare my life and my dreams with anyone else’s. It is my uniqueness and weirdness that sets me apart.

I started paying attention to the situations that caused me to play the comparison game, and most of it happened on social media. I saw others living their best lives. Writers far ahead in the game. Some were traveling the world and others were getting married and living happily ever after. All of that made me feel like my life was at a standstill. Comparison made me depressed. It was the thief of my joy and something I had to quit in order to become who I was meant to be.

A flower doesn’t compete with the flower next to it, it just blooms.

Bonus Thing To Quit — Playing it safe

We often think to ourselves that playing it safe is a smart bet. To play it safe, many of us stay at that dreadful job because it pays the bills. We stay in a toxic relationship because we fear being alone and we go to college instead of starting the dream business because we are told that’s the only way.

While it is not advisable to go from place to place or jump from one thing to the other, playing it safe is actually the most dangerous thing that you can do with your life.

You can’t be afraid of trying new things. Even if it isn’t the thing for you, it may be what leads you to the thing.

Ghanaian-American. Certified Life Coach. Conscious Leadership. I write about the mystical and rebel against rigid beliefs. Shhh✨ https://linktr.ee/Kimberly.fosu

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